Tiny Tales: Traditional Stories in 100 Words: May 2020

~ 44. Anansi's Knife and Fork ~

Laura Gibbs · 44. Anansi's Knife and Fork

Anansi was in trouble again.

The master tied him up and went to get a whip.

Lion came by. "Who tied you up?" he asked.

"Master told me to use a knife and fork," said Anansi, "but I don't know how. He's bringing some food, and he's going to make me use a knife and a fork."

"I can use a knife and fork!" shouted Lion. "I'll eat the food!"

So Lion untied Anansi, and Anansi tied Lion.

Then the master came back and he started whipping Lion.

"Wait!" shouted Lion. "Where's my food?"

The master whipped Lion even more.

Inspired by: Jamaica Anansi Stories by Martha Warren Beckwith
Notes: This is story 2b in the book. Beckwith heard this story from George Parkes; additional information in Beckwith's notes. This story is a continuation of Anansi and the Peanut-Patch. In the end of the story, the Lion runs off and it becomes an aetiological story: that's why Lion lives in the bush now.

~ 151. Anansi and the Peanut-Patch ~

Laura Gibbs · 151. Anansi and the Peanut-Patch

The master put a guard by his peanut-patch.

The guard was a fool who couldn't read, so Anansi found a piece of paper and took it to the guard.

"I can't read that!" he said.

Anansi laughed. "It says: The master commands you to let Anansi go in."

Then the guard let Anansi go in, and Anansi ate all the peanuts.

Next, the master came. "Who ate all the peanuts?" he shouted.

"I let Anansi in," said the guard, "just like you told me."

The master beat the guard. "Don't you listen to that lying Anansi ever again!" he said.

Inspired by: Jamaica Anansi Stories by Martha Warren Beckwith
Notes: This is story 2b in the book. Beckwith heard this story from George Parkes; additional information in Beckwith's notes. The story goes on to explain how Anansi tricked the guard again until the master finally got the guard to catch Anansi; this is what happened next: Anansi's Knife and Fork.

~ 136. Anansi, Tiger, and the King's Daughter ~

Laura Gibbs · 136. Anansi, Tiger, and the King's Daughter

Anansi had made the king angry.

"I'll boil you to death!" said the king, and he tied Anansi to a tree while he went to get the soup-pot.

Tiger came by. "Who tied you up?" he asked.

"The king tied me up!" said Anansi. "He's going to force me to marry his daughter."

"I want to marry the king's daughter!" shouted Tiger. "You tie me there!"

So Tiger untied Anansi, and Anansi tied Tiger.

Then the king came back. "This pot's not big enough!" he said when he saw Tiger there, so he beat Tiger with the soup ladle instead.

Inspired by: Jamaica Anansi Stories by Martha Warren Beckwith
Notes: This is story 2a in the book. Beckwith heard this story from William Forbes; additional information in Beckwith's notes. In the original story, it's the king's daughters who come back and beat Tiger. He gets away, but Anansi tricks him again so that he falls into a sink-hole.

~ 16. Anansi and Tiger's Mango-Tree ~

Laura Gibbs · 16. Anansi and Tiger's Mango-Tree

Tiger had a mango-tree, and Anansi wanted some of Tiger's mangoes.

"Will you give me some mangoes?"

Tiger said, "No!"

"Can I buy some mangoes?"

Tiger said, "NO!"

Then Anansi said, "You know, there's a big storm coming. A real big storm. You better tie yourself to that tree before the wind blows you away."

"Tie me!" said Tiger.

Anansi tied Tiger to the tree, but no wind came.

"When's that storm coming?" asked Tiger.

"No storm," said Anansi. "I just wanted your mangoes."

Anansi climbed the tree, took the mangoes, and left Tiger behind, still tied to the tree.

Inspired by: Jamaica Anansi Stories by Martha Warren Beckwith
Notes: This is story 1a in the book. Beckwith heard this story from Vivian-Bailey; additional information in Beckwith's notes. The story goes on to explain how Tiger asks for help getting untied from the tree until someone finally unties him. She pairs this with the story of Anansi tying tiger to the tree with the excuse that he is cleaning lice from tiger's fur: Anansi Ties Tiger. There's a Brer Rabbit story where Rabbit ties Lion to a tree because of the hurricane that's coming: Brer Rabbit Ties Mr. Lion.

~ 17. Anansi Ties Tiger ~

Laura Gibbs · 17. Anansi Ties Tiger

Anansi was carrying a basket of fish when he met Tiger.

Tiger grabbed the basket and ate the fish.

Anansi was angry but said nothing.

They kept walking.

Anansi saw a fruit-tree.

"Nice fruit there!" said Anansi.

"Get me some!" said Tiger.

Anansi climbed up and looked down. "I see lice in your fur!"

Tiger said, "Groom me!"

Anansi climbed down and he pulled Tiger's fur and whiskers, and with Tiger's fur and whiskers he tied Tiger to the tree!

Then Anansi ran off and left Tiger tied to the tree.

Tiger roared, and a hunter came and killed him.

Inspired by: Jamaica Anansi Stories by Martha Warren Beckwith
Notes: This is story 1a in the book. Beckwith heard this story from George Parkes; additional information in Beckwith's notes.

Nasruddin and the Carob Beans

Nasruddin's neighbor came over to see him, dragging an immense sack.
"Nasruddin!" he shouted. "Come look!"
Nasruddin came outside to see what his neighbor was shouting about.
"My cousin came by with a wagonload of carob beans," the neighbor explained. "He gave me several sacks, and since you are such a good neighbor, here is a sack for you."
"Carob beans?" said Nasruddin dubiously.
"Yes!" said the neighbor. "You can chew them; they're sweet."
"Thank you thinking of me," said Nasruddin, "but I'm not interested. It's not worth chewing a ton of wood for an ounce of honey."

Inspired by: The Wit and Wisdom of Nasraddin Hodja by Nejat Muallimoglu
Notes: This story is on p. 80 of the book. The author comments: "This is said of things when the trouble one goes through doing them is not worth the potential benefit."

Nasruddin's New Teacups

Nasruddin had bought some new teacups and saucers and was carrying them home, awkwardly holding everything in his hands. As he struggled to keep hold of the cups and saucers, he didn't pay attention to where he was walking and stumbled. He fell to the ground, and the cups and saucers came crashing down with him.
When they heard the thud of Nasruddin falling and the sound of the cups and saucers shattering, everyone came to look.
"Nasruddin!" they shouted. "What happened? What's this? What did you do?"
"Stop staring!" Nasruddin shouted angrily. "Haven't you ever seen an idiot before?"

Inspired by: The Wit and Wisdom of Nasraddin Hodja by Nejat Muallimoglu
Notes: This story is on p. 78 of the book.

Nasruddin's Two Daughters

Nasruddin had two daughters: one was married to a farmer, and the other to a potter.
Nasruddin visited his daughter who was a farmer's wife. "We really need for it to rain," she said. "That way our crops will grow."
The next day, Nasruddin visited his daughter who was a potter's wife. "We really need for the sun to shine," she said. "That way our pots can dry."
On his way home, Nasruddin thoughts to himself, "This is a dilemma: one needs rain, the other needs sunshine. God will have to find a way to grant to each her wish."

Inspired by: The Wit and Wisdom of Nasraddin Hodja by Nejat Muallimoglu
Notes: This story is on p. 32 of the book. In other versions of this story that I've read, Nasruddin interprets this as a no-win situation: either way, somebody is going to cry. There is also an Aesop's fable like this: The Father and His Two Daughters.

The Dog on a Winter's Night

It was winter, and Nasruddin was traveling to see a friend who had moved to a distant town.
He arrived at the town in the night, and he was looking for the house of the friend. As he wandering along the street, a dog came running towards him. The dog was barking, and looked dangerous. Nasruddin reached down to pick up a stone, but it was frozen to the ground, or so Nasruddin thought (it was a cobblestone street).
"This is a very strange place!" Nasruddin exclaimed. "The stones are tied up, but the dogs are allowed to roam free."

Inspired by: The Wit and Wisdom of Nasraddin Hodja by Nejat Muallimoglu
Notes: This story is on p. 16 of the book. The story here does not mention that it was a cobblestone street, but from other "folktales about fools," this type of story is usually told about someone who doesn't understand what a cobblestone street is, and who thinks instead that the stones are frozen to the ground.

(cobblestones)

Nasruddin and the Sieve

Nasruddin was in the pantry when a sieve full of potatoes fell on his head. The sieve and potatoes hit him right on the head, and it really hurt.
Nasruddin was angry and went to kick the sieve, but when he did that, the sieve bounced up and hit him in the face.
Now Nasruddin was furious. He ran into the kitchen and grabbed his biggest butcher knife. Then he ran back into the pantry and shouted, "Alright, sieve! I'm ready! You and all your sieve allies can attack me know and I'll cut you to shreds with my knife!"

Inspired by: The Wit and Wisdom of Nasraddin Hodja by Nejat Muallimoglu
Notes: This story is on p. 15 of the book.

Nasruddin and the Ghost in the Moonlight

Nasruddin looked out the window, and in the moonlight he saw something, or someone, moving. It looked like a ghost raising its arms, dancing some kind of strange dance.
Terrified, Nasruddin grabbed his bow and shot an arrow at the ghost. "Got it!" he shouted. The arrow had pinned the ghost to a tree.
But when Nasruddin rushed outside to investigate, he saw that he had shot his own cloak which his wife had washed and hung on the clothesline to dry.
"Praise God!" said Nasruddin. "If I'd been wearing the cloak, I would have killed myself with that arrow!"

Inspired by: The Wit and Wisdom of Nasraddin Hodja by Nejat Muallimoglu
Notes: This story is on p. 7 of the book.

Nasruddin and His Brother

When Nasruddin first went to school, the teacher asked him some questions.
"Tell me, Nasruddin: do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"I have one brother!" Nasruddin replied with pride.
"And is your brother older or younger than you?" the teacher asked.
"Well," Nasruddin said thoughtfully, "I remember that last year my brother was one year younger than me. At least, that's what my mother told me."
"So he's your younger brother," said the teacher helpfully.
"I'm not sure,"said Nasruddin. "That was a year old, so he may have caught up to me in age by now."

Inspired by: The Wit and Wisdom of Nasraddin Hodja by Nejat Muallimoglu
Notes: This story is on p. 3 of the book.

Nasruddin's Son Has a Dream

"I had a marvelous dream, Father!" said Nasruddin's son. "You and I were standing in a field, and angels descended from heaven, singing your praises because you are so virtuous and generous. Then you looked at me and asked me if I needed anything, and I told you I needed three silver coins."
"Did I give you the coins?" asked Nasruddin.
"Yes!' the boy said fervently. "You gave me three silver coins."
"Well, since you are such a good boy," said Nasruddin, "you can keep the coins I gave you."
Nasruddin's son is sly, but not more sly than Nasruddin.

Inspired by: Classic Tales of Mulla Nasreddin retold by Houman Farzad, and translated by Diane Wilcox
Notes: This story is on p. 82 of the book.

The Donkey's Barley

"Your donkey sure is looking scrawny these days," said Nasruddin's neighbor. "Maybe you need to give him some more food."
The donkey, as if he understood what the neighbor was saying, wriggled his ears in agreement.
Nasruddin huffed indignantly. "I'll have you know that the donkey's ration is two bushels of barley every day. Two full bushels!"
"Well, that's strange," said the neighbor. "That's very strange. With a ration like that, your donkey shouldn't be looking so thin. I wonder what the problem is."
"The problem," explained Nasruddin, "is that I now owe him about a month's worth of barley."

Inspired by: Classic Tales of Mulla Nasreddin retold by Houman Farzad, and translated by Diane Wilcox
Notes: This story is on p. 54 of the book.

Nasruddin and the Mutton

The rumor was that Nasruddin had stolen a sheep which he then slaughtered.
He then gave away all the meat to the poor and hungry.
"I don't understand," said Nasruddin's friend. "Why would you run such a risk and commit such a crime if you were just going to give the meat away like that?"
Nasruddin smiled and said, "I reckon it this way: God's reward for an act of charity balances out the punishment for stealing. Then, I sold the fat and I sold the skin, which is how I made a profit out of the whole business."

Inspired by: Classic Tales of Mulla Nasreddin retold by Houman Farzad, and translated by Diane Wilcox
Notes: This story is on p. 54 of the book.

Nasruddin's Bargain with God

Nasruddin's donkey was missing, so he decided to bargain with God.
"O God," he prayed, "if you will bring back my donkey, I promise to donate ten gold coins to the mosque."
Sure enough, Nasruddin's donkey came back.
"O God," he prayed again, "I see you are both honorable and also powerful. Since you found my donkey and brought him back, do you think you could help me find some buried treasure? Maybe a treasure chest full of gold coins? I'll double my donation to the mosque if you can help me with that like you did with the donkey!"

Inspired by: Classic Tales of Mulla Nasreddin retold by Houman Farzad, and translated by Diane Wilcox
Notes: This story is on p. 50 of the book.

Nasruddin's Shield

When Nasruddin was in the army, his unit attacked an enemy fortress. Carrying a shield and waving a spear, Nasruddin advanced towards the line of enemy soldiers who were defending the fortress.
Then, all of a sudden, one of the soldiers threw a rock which hit Nasruddin on the head.
Nasruddin reached up and felt blood trickling from his head wound.
"You idiot!" he yelled at the enemy soldier. "You could have aimed at this nice big shield which is easy to see and easy to hit. Why on earth would you aim at my poor little head like that?"

Inspired by: Classic Tales of Mulla Nasreddin retold by Houman Farzad, and translated by Diane Wilcox
Notes: This story is on p. 12 of the book.

Nasruddin and the Drunkard

As Nasruddin was on his way home one evening, a man ran right into him and knocked him down.
"I am... I am so sorry," the man said as he helped Nasruddin get back up. From his slurred speech Nasruddin could tell the man was drunk.
"It's not even dark yet!" Nasruddin yelled. "How is it possible that you did not see me?"
"Oh, I saw you," said the drunken man. "In fact, I saw two of you."
"Then why did you run into me like that?"
"Well," replied the drunken man, "I was trying to go between you."

Inspired by: Classic Tales of Mulla Nasreddin retold by Houman Farzad, and translated by Diane Wilcox
Notes: This story is on p. 12 of the book.

Noah and the Dove

Nasruddin and his friends in the coffeehouse were arguing, again. This time they were arguing about details of religious tradition. Nasruddin claimed to be an expert, so his friends were challenging him with obscure questions about the prophets and their lives.
"Tell us about Noah's dove, Nasruddin! Was the dove that brought back the olive branch in its beak a male dove or a female dove?"
"A male dove, obviously," answered Nasruddin.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because a female dove would never have been able to keep her mouth shut long enough to bring back the olive branch."

Inspired by: Nasreddin Hodja: The Turk Who Makes the World Laugh by Mehmet Ali Birant
Notes: This story is on p. 24 of the book.

A Recipe for Halvah

"Halvah is my favorite food," said Nasruddin. "But I rarely get to eat it."
"You should make some at home," said his friend. "You just need flour, butter, and sugar."
"I never have all the ingredients at once! If I've got butter and flour, there's no sugar. Or maybe I have sugar and butter but no flour. Or I've got flour and sugar, but no butter."
"But surely at some time you had flour and sugar and butter in the house!"
"Perhaps." Nasruddin sighed. "But in that case, I must have been the missing ingredient who was not at home."

Inspired by: Nasreddin Hodja: The Turk Who Makes the World Laugh by Mehmet Ali Birant
Notes: This story is on p. 20 of the book. There are different kinds of halvah; the kind Nasruddin is talking about is Turkish Flour Halvah. The other kind of halvah is made with tahini: Tahini Halvah.

Nsaruddin and the Rooster

Nasruddin was carrying a basket full of live chickens to sell at the market. It was a hot day, and he felt sorry for the birds stuffed inside that basket, so he decided to let them out to walk and enjoy the breeze.
When he lets the chickens out, though, they all start running this way and that.
Nasruddin then yelled at the rooster, "Hey there, rooster! You're the man of this family. Do something! You're always bossing everyone around by telling us when to get up in the morning. Now you need to drive those hens to the market!"

Inspired by: The Best Anecdotes of Nasreddin Hoca by Kemal Yorenc
Notes: This story is on p. 74 of the book.

The Donkey's Tail

Nasruddin was taking his donkey to the market to sell. On the way, though, the donkey stumbled and slipped in some mud. Nasruddin scraped off what he could, but the donkey's tail was still full of mud. Since Nasruddin was in a hurry, he cut the tail off and put it in the saddlebag.
"This is a fine-looking donkey," said a prospective buyer as he inspected the donkey. "But wait! What's this? His tail is missing!"
Nasruddin lifted the flap of the saddle-bag to show him the tail. "If you buy the donkey, I'll throw in the tail for free!"

Inspired by: The Best Anecdotes of Nasreddin Hoca by Kemal Yorenc
Notes: This story is on p. 69 of the book.

In Public, In Private

Nasruddin was eating a piece of bread while he was walking around town. This was back in the old days, when people were not used to seeing someone who was eating while he was walking.
"Why are you eating that bread out here where everyone can see you?" someone asked. "Isn't that a strange thing to do?"
Nasruddin shook his head. "There's nothing strange about it." Nasruddin took a bite of bread, and then he continued, "If something is not strange when you do it alone, why should it be strange if you do it in front of other people?"

Inspired by: The Best Anecdotes of Nasreddin Hoca by Kemal Yorenc
Notes: This story is on p. 41 of the book. A friend of mine from Italy stayed with me one summer while she was taking a summer school course and she said one of the strangest things she saw in America was people eating while they were walking around.

Nasruddin Grabs the Horns

Nasruddin's bull had horns like a crescent moon, and he dreamed of grabbing those horns and sit on that bull's head. One day, he saw the bull sleeping in the field. He crept up and sat down on the bull's head, grabbing a horn in each hand.
This woke the bull immediately, and he bucked and reared. Nasruddin held on as long as he could, but then the bull threw him off and Nasruddin landed in the brambles. He was battered and bruised, with scratches from the brambles.
"But at last," he said to himself happily, "I achieved my dream!"

Inspired by: Nasreddin Hodja compiled by Alpay Kabacali.
Notes: This story is on p. 20 of the book.

The Measure of the World

People had great respect for Nasruddin's wisdom and would often come up to him on the street to ask him religious and philosophical questions. So one day a man approached Nasruddin on the street and said, "Please tell me, Nasruddin, how to measure the world."
Nasruddin paused for a moment, and then pointed to a funeral procession that was making its way down the street at that moment. "Don't ask me," he said. "Ask the one inside the coffin. He has taken the measure of the world, and only he can answer that question for you."

Inspired by: The Best Anecdotes of Nasreddin Hoca by Kemal Yorenc
Notes: This story is on p. 7 of the book. Compare a similar story: What Happens After We Die.

How Do You Feel?

Nasruddin had fallen off his roof and was badly injured. After the doctor left, Nasruddin's wife came in and sat by his bedside.
"My poor husband How do you feel?" she asked.
"The feeling is very hard to describe," he replied. "Do you really want to know how I am feeling?"
"Yes, I really want to know how you are feeling," she said. "Please tell me."
"I don't think I can put it into words." Nasruddin then thought for a moment. "But I suppose you could go jump off the roof yourself, and then you'd know exactly how I feel."

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 136 of the book.

News of a Pheasant

A man came running up to Nasruddin on the street. "Nasruddin! Nasruddin!" he shouted excitedly. "I just saw someone carrying a platter with a beautiful roast pheasant on it."
"What business is that of mine?" asked Nasruddin.
"It was your brother-in-law," the man replied, "and he said he was delivering the roast pheasant to your house as a gift!"
Nasruddin smiled with delight, but then he gave the man a harsh look. "And if that's the case, then what business is that of yours?" And with those words, Nasruddin took off running for his house as fast as he could.

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 134 of the book. Nakosteen's story is shorter, without mentioning the brother-in-law; I added that part.

Nasruddin Tries to Guess

Nasruddin ran into a friend on the street who said, "If you can guess what I have in my pocket, I'll give it to you, and you can have a fried egg for your dinner."
Nasruddin stared at him in complete confusion. "Aren't you going to give me some clues?"
"Well," said his friend, "it's oval-shaped, hard and white on the outside, and inside it you will find something that is yellow."
"Oh, I've got it!" Nasruddin shouted triumphantly. "You've taken a big turnip and then put a very tiny mango inside it. Did I guess correctly?"

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 130 of the book. Compare the story of the apricot: Guess What I Have in my Pocket. Nakosteen's story has a carrot instead of a mango, but I thought a mango was more likely to be yellow, and the idea of a very tiny mango made it funny too.

The Porter and the Sack

Nasruddin agreed to pay a porter one dinar to carry his sack of purchases home, but he later realized he'd given the porter the wrong address.
Nasruddin was at the market a week later and saw the porter still carrying his sack, so he hid behind a grocer's stall.
"Who are you hiding from?" asked the grocer.
"The porter I hired to carry my sack," Nasruddin replied.
"I don't understand," said the grocer.
"He's been carrying that sack for seven days, which means I now owe him seven dinars, but the contents of the sack aren't worth half that much!"

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 123 of the book.

The Days of Ramdan

To keep track of Ramadan, Nasruddin dropped a pebble in a jar at the end of each day.
His daughter, hoping to end Ramadan sooner, added pebbles to the jar too.
One day, a friend asked Nasruddin how many days of Ramadan had passed. Nasruddin got the jar and counted ninety pebbles. He realized that must be wrong, so he divided by two.
"Forty-five days have passed, my friend!" he said.
"That's impossible!" protested his friend. "Ramadan has only thirty days."
"Be at peace," Nasruddin replied. "It could be worse: the jar says we have been fasting for ninety days!"

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 119 of the book. You can read more about the holiday of Ramadan at Wikipedia.

Nasruddin's Clock

Nasruddin had a clock which kept good time. One day, however, the clock stopped working. Nasruddin wound the clock with the key as usual, but it still would not keep the right time.
Nasruddin then noticed that the clock was rather dirty. He dusted the clock off and cleaned the key, but that still did not help, so he took the clock to a repairman.
As the repairman was taking the clock apart to look inside, a dead fly fell out.
"Well, no wonder the clock stopped working!" Nasruddin exclaimed. "The poor little creature that operates the machinery has died."

Inspired by: Inspired by: Classic Tales of Mulla Nasreddin retold by Houman Farzad, and translated by Diane Wilcox
Notes: This story is on p. 34 of the book. In Nakosteen's version, Nasruddin finds a dead fly inside the watch, but the idea of finding a dead fly in a clock seems more probably.

Nsaruddin's Flute Lessons

Nasruddin decided to become a musician. The problem was that he did not know how to play an instrument, so he needed to find a teacher. There was a man in his town who was a flute-teacher, so Nasruddin went to ask how much he would have to pay for flute lessons.
"I charge three gold coins for the first month of lessons," said the flute-teacher. "Then, after that, I charge one gold coin per month."
"That sounds very reasonable!" said Nasruddin. "To save both time and money, I'd like to skip the first month, and start with the second."

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 113 of the book.

Directions to Town

A man accosted Nasruddin on the road.
"O Holy Man," the man said to Nasruddin, "please tell me the way to get to town."
Nasruddin stared at the man, who was a complete stranger to him. "How exactly did you know I was a holy man?" he asked.
"I am a mind-reader!" said the stranger, as he gave Nasruddin a strange look, staring right at him.
Nasruddin stared right back at the stranger and said, "Well, if you are a mind-reader, I'm thinking about the way to town right now. Read my mind, and you'll find the directions there!"

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 109 of the book.

The Pious House

Nasruddin wanted to buy a house, but he didn't have much money.
"This old house is a great bargain!" said the agent, but Nasruddin could hear the roof beams cracking and creaking loudly as the wind blew.
"That doesn't sound good," said Nasruddin.
"Oh, that's nothing at all," replied the agent. "The people who lived here were very pious, and the roof beams now praise Allah, the All-Merciful, five times a day, praying just as people do."
Nasruddin looked up at the ceiling with concern. "I hope that doesn't mean the roof beams are going to bow and do prostrations!"

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 106 of the book. You can read more about the prayer ritual called "salah" at Wikipedia.

The Village Elephant

Tamerlane gave a big gift to Nasruddin's village: an elephant!
They had to feed the elephant and, even worse, it went on rampages, knocking down market stalls and terrifying the people.
"Go get help from Tamerlane!" they said to Nasruddin.
"I'll go, but some of you must come with me," he said. Yet when he set out the next day, not a single person from the village accompanied him.
"I'll show them!" he said.
When he returned, the villagers greeted him happily.
"What news?" they asked him.
"Tamerlane is sending a female elephant to keep our elephant company!" he said.

Inspired by: Nasreddin Hodja compiled by Alpay Kabacali.
Notes: This story is on p. 9 of the book.

The Donkey of Justice

One day Nasruddin tied his donkey up outside of the courthouse while he ran some errands.
Meanwhile, the judge had just condemned a man to ride around the town backwards on a donkey as punishment for his crime, so they needed a donkey. They borrowed Nasruddin's donkey, and when Nasruddin found out, he was not happy.
A few days later, someone knocked at Nasruddin's door.
"I've come from the judge. We need to borrow your donkey again. It's the same man again, same punishment."
"Absolutely not!" said Nasruddin. "If the man's a career criminal, let him get his own donkey!"

Inspired by: Nasreddin Hodja compiled by Alpay Kabacali.
Notes: This story is on p. 6 of the book.

Laundry-Day

Whenever Nasruddin's wife wanted to do laundry it rained.
"We need to keep doing the laundry a secret," Nasruddin said. "Not even God can know!"
"But how is that possible?" said Nasruddin's wife.
"We just won't say anything; you give me the signal and I'll go to the store for soap."
A few days later, Nasruddin's wife gave him the signal, so he went to the store and bought soap. On the way home, it began to rain.
Nasruddin looked up at the sky and shouted, "Rain if you want, God! I didn't buy the soap for doing laundry anyway."

Inspired by: Nasreddin Hodja compiled by Alpay Kabacali.
Notes: This story is on p. 6 of the book.

Local Customs

Nasruddin was visiting a new town for the first time and went to pray in the local mosque. As he was bent down in prayer, he felt someone tugging at his robe from behind.
"That's strange," Nasruddin thought to himself. Then he felt the man tug his robe again. Nasruddin decided that this must be the custom in this mosque, so he reached out and tugged the robe of the man in front of him.
"Hey!" said the man. "Just what do you think you're doing?"
"I have no idea," said Nasruddin. "You'll have to ask that man behind me."

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 105 of the book.

How Old Is Nasruddin?

Another argument had broken out in the coffeehouse. This time they were arguing about exactly how old Nasruddin was.
As it happened, Nasruddin himself walked in at just the right moment.
"Nasruddin!" they all shouted. "Please tell us how old you are."
"I'm fifty years old," he said.
"But wait," said one of the men. "I asked you several years ago how old you were, and you told me then that you were fifty years old."
"That's right," said Nasruddin. "I'm a man of my word. I said I was fifty years old, and I stand by what I said."

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 102 of the book.

The Astrologer's Wife

Nasruddin was talking to the town astrologer in the coffeehouse one day. "By observing the stars and planets, I know what is happening throughout the universe. My vision knows no limits!" the astrologer explained.
When Nasruddin saw the astrologer the next day in the coffeehouse, however, he was looking very sad.
"What's wrong?" Nasruddin asked.
"I discovered my wife in bed with the grocer," the astrologer replied. "It was a terrible shock!"
Nasruddin just laughed. "Maybe instead of worrying about the whole universe," he said, "you should pay more attention to what's happening right there in your own home."

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 101 of the book. Making fun of astrologers and fortune-tellers is part of the Aesopic tradition as well. For example, in this Aesop's fable from ancient Greece, the fortune-teller does not know that his own house is being robbed: The Fortune-Teller. In another famous fable, the astrologer does not know what is right under his feet: The Astrologer.

Nasruddin on Fate

"Father, what is fate?" asked Nasruddin's son.
"It's complicated," replied Nasruddin. "Sometimes you expect things will go badly, but instead things end up going well; that's an example of good luck. At other times, things go badly even though you were sure that they'd go well; that's an example of bad luck."
"But I asked you about fate," said his son. "I wasn't asking about good luck or bad luck."
"I'm getting to that!" said Nasruddin. "When you aren't sure whether something will turn out good or bad, and then the bad outcome prevails, that's what people call fate."

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 100 of the book. Nakosteen tells this story about Nasruddin and his friends; I changed it to Nasruddin and his son.

Witness for the Defense

Nasruddin's neighbor was on trial for theft. "The grocer says I didn't pay, so I need you to say you saw me pay," his neighbor explained. Nasruddin agreed.
When they got to court, the judge asked Nasruddin, "Did you see the defendant pay the grocer?"
"I did," said Nasruddin. "I saw him pay for the sack of cucumbers."
"But he's accused of stealing a jar of oil, not a sack of cucumbers. What did you actually see?"
"I saw what I saw," Nasruddin replied. "I'm a witness here for my neighbor; I'm not here for the oil or the cucumbers."

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 90 of the book. Nakosteen's story has sacks of wheat and barley; I changed it to cucumbers and oil.

Nasruddin and the Tiger

Once when Nasruddin was traveling through India, a tiger attacked him. Nasruddin climbed a tree to escape, but the tiger followed up after him. Nasruddin climbed; the tiger climbed.
Just as Nasruddin was about to give up hope, the tiger was distracted by a bird on the branch. As the tiger reached its paw out to snatch the bird, it fell out of the tree.
Nasruddin waited several hours and then cautiously climbed back down to the ground where he found the dead tiger.
"Look at that!" Nasruddin exclaimed. "I never suspected I was such a talented hunter of tigers."

Inspired by: The World of Nasrudin by Idries Shah, free to read online at the Idries Shah Foundation.
Notes: This is story #210 in the book. In the end of Shah's story Nasruddin takes the tiger skin as a trophy; I subsituted Nsaruddin's praise of his tiger-hunting skills.

Nasruddin's Last Sheep

Nasruddin had fallen on hard times. He had sold his livestock and had only one sheep left, and he was on his way to sell that sheep at the market.
On the way, he met a friend who invited him to the coffeehouse. Nasruddin brought his sheep with him. He gave the sheep a seat at the table, then sat down next to the sheep.
"What are you doing?" asked Nasruddin's friend, astounded.
"When a sheep is the last thing you own in the world," Nasruddin replied, "you can't let that sheep out of your sight even for a minute."

Inspired by: The World of Nasrudin by Idries Shah, free to read online at the Idries Shah Foundation.
Notes: This is story #190 in the book.

Nasruddin in the Oven

The king's soldiers were rounding up all the men in Nasruddin's village to draft them into the army. Nasruddin did not want to join the army, so he hid in the oven.
Things were going well until Nasruddin sneezed; that's when the soldiers opened the oven door and found him in there.
"Come out out of there!" the soldiers said to Nasruddin. "You're joining the army."
"Not me!" said Nasruddin. "I'm just a loaf of bread here in the oven."
"That's ridiculous! Come out now!" the soldiers yelled.
"At least wait until I'm fully baked," Nasruddin replied, smiling.

Inspired by: The World of Nasrudin by Idries Shah, free to read online at the Idries Shah Foundation.
Notes: This is story #182 in the book. I added the part about the sneeze.

What's His Is Mine

Nasruddin prayed to God under the stars. "O God, I need money!"
As a joke, his neighbor tossed him some money.
"Praise God!" shouted Nasruddin.
The next day, the neighbor came for his money. "It was a joke!"
Nasruddin refused, so the neighbor took him to court.
Because Nasruddin's donkey was lame, he loaned Nasruddin a donkey. Because Nasruddin's cloak was torn, he loaned Nasruddin a cloak.
"Judge," said Nasruddin, "my neighbor thinks everything that's mine is his."
"Liar!" shouted the neighbor.
"Just ask whose donkey this is," said Nasruddin.
"It's mine!"
"And whose cloak?"
"Mine!"
Nasruddin won the case.

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen, p. 72. The story also appears in The Sufis by Idries Shah, free to read online at the Idries Shah Foundation.
Notes: The story has another motif: Nasruddin prays for one hundred coins, and the neighbor throws out only ninety-nine; you can read that story here: A Gift from God.

The Number of the Stars

Nasruddin was famed for his wisdom, and admirers came from all over to ask him questions.
"O Nasruddin," said one of his admirers, "how many stars are there in the sky?"
"I don't know," Nasruddin admitted, "but that is a question which has greatly interested me for a long time. And I have, in fact, thought about counting the stars in order to satisfy my curiosity."
"Why don't you?" asked his admirer.
"Well, there are two problems," Nasruddin explained. "During the day, I'm too busy with other things, and at night it is too dark to make an accurate count."

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 66 of the book.

The Sound of Nasruddin's Voice

Nasruddin liked to sing, and people were accustomed to seeing him stroll around the town, singing to himself.
But one day they were surprised to see Nasruddin running at top speed through the town singing loudly and holding his hand cupped to his ear.
"Nasruddin!" shouted one of his friends as Nasruddin went racing by him. "What's happened? Is something wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong!" Nasruddin replied, pausing for a moment to catch his breath. "I want to discover how far my voice carries when I sing!" He then burst into song again and took off running as fast as he could.

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 63 of the book. In some versions of this story, Nasruddin is not singing; instead, he has just given the call to prayer from the top of the minaret and is running to see how far the sound of the call carries.

Tamerlane and the Pilaf

Emperor Tamerlane was eating lamb pilaf. "This is delicious!" he shouted. "Isn't this delicious, Nasruddin?"
"It's delicious," agreed Nasruddin.
The emperor had another serving, and another, and another. The pilaf sat heavily on the emperor's stomach.
"This pilaf is too oily and too salty," complained the emperor. "Nasruddin, isn't this terrible?"
"It's terrible," agreed Nasruddin.
"But you said it was delicious!" protested Tamerlane. "Can't you form an opinion of your own?"
"O Great One," replied Nasruddin, "if even one as mighty as yourself changes your opinion, how can someone lowly as myself hope to have an opinion of my own?"

Inspired by: The World of Nasrudin by Idries Shah, free to read online at the Idries Shah Foundation.
Notes: This is story #172 in the book. You can read more about Turkish pilaf (pilau) at Wikipedia. Compare a similar dining conversation: The King and the Eggplants.

Nasruddin's Marriage Certificate

Nasruddin had finally gotten married; his wife was named Suzan. She was not his first choice, but she would make a good enough wife.
Going home after the wedding, he ran into Jamilah, and he realized that she was the woman he really wanted as his wife.
So, he took the marriage certificate and went to see about getting the name changed.
"There's been a mistake," he explained. "Here where you wrote Suzan, just write Jamilah instead."
"You'll need a new certificate, which will cost you two dinars."
Nasruddin pondered. "Well, I guess there's not that much difference between them."

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 53 of the book.

Bachelors and Married Men

Nasruddin and his friends were arguing, as usual, in the coffeehouse.
They argued about politics, but eventually they got bored with that.
Then they argued about religion, but they got bored with that even more quickly.
Then they started boasting about this and that, but they had heard everyone's boasts before, so they became bored with that too.
Finally, they started arguing about their wives. Whose wife was best. Whose wife was worst. And so on and so on.
Finally someone asked, "Which is worse: to get married, or to remain a bachelor?"
"Both are worse!" Nasruddin shouted.

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 50 of the book.

Nasruddin the Doctor

Nasruddin was far from home without any food, and he was hungry. Very hungry.
Suddenly, an old man ran up shouting, "My son needs a doctor!"
"I'm a doctor!" said Nasruddin. They went to the old man's house and into the son's room. Nasruddin told the sick man's wife to cover him with blankets and put his feet in ice water.
Nasruddin was enjoying a bowl of lamb stew in the kitchen when the old man came in, weeping. "My son has died!"
"How sad!" said Nasruddin. "And if you hadn't fed me that stew, I might have died too!"

Inspired by: The World of Nasrudin by Idries Shah, free to read online at the Idries Shah Foundation.
Notes: This is story #150 in the book.

Nasruddin and the Funeral Invitation

The local judge had died and Nasruddin, much to his surprise, was invited to the funeral.
"I don't understand why I've received an invitation," said Nasruddin. "and I don't know what to do. After all, the judge hated me. And, to be honest, I hated him too. It's probably best if I don't go."
"What's past is past," said his wife. "You should go to the funeral."
"I'm not sure," said Nasruddin doubtfully. "What if his ghost rises up out of the casket to berate me? I'm not sure how we would ever persuade him to get back in."

Inspired by: The World of Nasrudin by Idries Shah, free to read online at the Idries Shah Foundation.
Notes: This is story #120 in the book.

Nasruddin and the Judge's Clothes

It was a hot day, and as Nasruddin was walking along, he heard someone splashing in a pond off to the side of the road. Nasruddin crept up to the pond stealthily. There was the judge relaxing in the cool water. Nasruddin, meanwhile, stole the judge's turban, cloak, and elegant shoes.
The next day the judge ran into Nasruddin wearing his clothes and shoes.
"What are you doing in my clothes!" shouted the judge. "I'll have you arrested."
"But I was just on my way to return them to you," said Nasruddin, "and to claim my reward for finding them."

Inspired by: The World of Nasrudin by Idries Shah, free to read online at the Idries Shah Foundation.
Notes: This is story #116 in the book.

Hit by Water

Nasruddin's neighbor was worried when he saw Nasruddin had a bandage on his head.
"What happened to you?" he asked, filled with concern.
"Oh, do you mean this bandage?" Nasruddin said calmly. "It's nothing, really, nothing at all."
"But I see some blood oozing through the bandage," the neighbor continued. "It looks serious!"
"Really, it's nothing!" insisted Nasruddin. "My wife accidentally hit me with some water."
The neighbor looked doubtful. "Why would you need to put a bandage on your head after getting hit with water?"
"Well," Nasruddin replied, "the water happened to be in a pitcher at the time."

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 48 of the book. Compare the story of Nasruddin and his cloak: The Sound of the Cloak.

Nasruddin's Revenge

Nasruddin's daughter was married to a no-good scoundrel. One time he hit her so hard that he gave her a black eye. She ran home to her mother and father. Weeping, she told them what happened.
Nasruddin was furious at his son-in-law. He ranted, and raved, and then he grabbed his daughter and gave her another black eye.
"Nasruddin!" shouted his wife. "What on earth are you doing?"
"That man gave my daughter a black eye," he shouted, "so to avenge her I gave his wife a black eye. That will teach him!"
Meanwhile, Nasruddin's poor daughter wept even louder.

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 46 of the book. Compare the story of Nasruddin's dog and his neighbor's wife: Payment in Kind.

Nasruddin Reads Aloud

Nasruddin's wife handed him a document without saying why. Nasruddin stared at the writing on the paper; he wasn't actually able to read it, but he pretended that he could. Running his finger along the writing, he read out loud, "My dear friends, I hope you are well. It has been a long time since my last letter and..."
"What on earth are you talking about?" interrupted his wife.
"I thought you gave me this document to read," Nasruddin explained.
"No," she said. "I gave it to you to put somewhere for safekeeping. That is the deed to our house."

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 45 of the book. In some stories, Nasruddin is a scholar, but in other stories, like this one, he is illiterate.

Trying to Rob Nasruddin

Nasruddin awoke to the sound of a burglar in his house. He got out of bed and went to speak to him.
"Don't be afraid," said Nasruddin in a friendly tone. "I know you've come here to rob me, so but you won't succeed."
"What do you mean I won't succeed?" asked the burglar, who was now thoroughly confused.
"I mean you're not going to find anything here worth taking. It's dark now, of course, so you can't see things clearly. But you're looking for something here in the dark that I can't even find when it's broad daylight."

Inspired by: Mulla's Donkey and Other Friends by Mehdi Nakosteen
Notes: This story is on p. 44 of the book. This fits into the genre of Nasruddin stories about robbers: either the joke depends on Nasruddin being too poor to rob (as in this story), or else the story is about Nasruddin robbing the robbers.

The Miracle of the Spider Web

As Mohammad and Abu Bakr fled from Mecca to Medina, they came to a cave.
"We can hide here," said Mohammad.
"I'm not sure," replied Abu Bakr. "This looks dangerous."
"Do you think we are just two?" Mohammad smiled at his companion. "There is a Third who protects us."
So they hid in the cave.
Soon after, their pursuers reached the cave; they could hear the soldiers arguing at the cave's entrance.
"Maybe they're here!"
"Wait! Look at this spiderweb covering the entrance. No one has entered here."
So they rode on; this was the miracle of the spider's web.

Inspired by: Caravan of Dreams by Idries Shah, free to read online at the Idries Shah Foundation.
Notes: This is on p. 14 in the book. You can find out more about Mohammad and Abu Bakr at Wikipedia. In the Christian tradition, a similar story is told about Saint Felix saved by a spider.

The Oxen and the Logs

For the #RamadanReadathon at Twitter, I want to highlight some story collections that people might enjoy reading, featuring free full-text books online; here are all the books I've featured so far, including a 100-word story for each one too.

So, today's book is Turkish Literature: Fables translated by Epiphaneius Wilson. See details below, and here is a story from that collection:

The Oxen and the Logs

Two lazy oxen were pulling a log. They were going slowly, although the log was not very heavy.
"Hey, oxen!" shouted the log. "I'm not so heavy. Since you are such big, strong oxen, I would think you would gallop right along!"
"It's true you are not very heavy," said one of the oxen. "But if we were to go along any faster than this, the humans would add more logs to our load."
"And you would be probably be crushed beneath those other logs," said the other ox. "So really: we're doing this all for you!"

You can find a longer version of that story, and many other stories besides, in the online book, which is available at Internet Archive, Hathi Trust, and Google Books.
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Nasruddin's Vinegar

Nasruddin's neighbor came and knocked at his door.
"I need your help, Nasruddin!" he said. "I've just been to the doctor and he has told me to prepare a poultice with forty-year-old vinegar. Do you have some forty-year-old vinegar?"
"Well," Nasruddin admitted reluctantly, "the fact is I do have some forty-year-old vinegar."
"Please give me some," said the neighbor. "I only need a small amount."
"No," said Nasruddin. "I can't do that."
"Why not?" asked the neighbor.
"If I had been in the habit of giving away vinegar to everyone who asked, my vinegar wouldn't be forty years old."

Inspired by: Nasreddin Hodja compiled by Alpay Kabacali.
Notes: This story is on p. 2 of the book. Most versions of this story are about vinegar, but sometimes it is wine instead.