Showing posts with label India: Jesters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label India: Jesters. Show all posts
166. Tenalirama and Kali
Young Tenalirama prayed to Kali.
The goddess appeared to him, holding two bowls. "Choose!" she commanded. "The milk of learning or the curds of wealth."
"I'm not sure..." he replied.
The boy then snatched the two bowls and swallowed both milk and curds.
"O Kali Ma," he quickly explained, "there was no choosing; one without the other would be useless."
Kali frowned and then laughed. "You will pay a price for this disobedience! Though learned and prosperous, you will be laughed at: you'll be Tenalirama the jester."
Tenalirama bowed in reverence and gratitude.
When he looked up, she was gone.
Inspired by: The Wit of Tenali Raman by Devika Rangachari
Notes: This story is on p. 6 of the book. The phrase "Kali Ma" means "Mother Kali." For more about Kali, the fierce mother-goddess, see Wikipedia. For another story about this encounter, see Tenalirama and Kali.
167. Tenalirama and the King
King Krishnadevaraya invited everyone in the city to a royal feast.
Young Tenalirama pushed his way to the front of the crowd to listen to the king's guru.
"What you see is only what you think you see," intoned the guru. "All differences are Maya, thought-illusion. Seeing, hearing, tasting: it is all in your mind."
Tenalirama laughed loudly.
"Why are you laughing, boy?" asked the king.
"I was just thinking that I'll gladly eat the guru's portion at the feast," Tenalirama replied. "I'll taste the food while he thinks about it."
The king laughed and made Tenalirama his royal jester.
Inspired by: The Wit of Tenali Raman by Devika Rangachari
Notes: This story is on p. 11 of the book.
168. Tenalirama and the Gold Coins
Tenalirama was still new to the court, and he was surprised when King Krishnadevaraya unexpectedly gave him a gift of gold coins. Where to put the coins? He tried stuffing them into his pockets, but the fabric ripped and the coins spilled onto the floor.
As Tenalirama rushed to pick them up, the king's other courtiers all laughed.
"Don't be so miserly!" said the king. "That's undignified for a courtier."
"O Your Majesty, your likeness is on every coin, and you should not be lying on the dusty floor or trampled underfoot," Tenalirama explained. "That's undignified for a king."
Inspired by: Fix Your Problems the Tenali Raman Way by Vishal Goyal
Notes: This story is on p. 105 of the book.
169. Tenalirama and the Peaches
The Emperor of China sent a gift of fruits no one had seen before: peaches. With the box was a note, which King Krishnadevaraya read aloud: "This food brings long life and happiness to whoever eats it."
Intrigued, Tenalirama reached out, took a peach and bit into it. "Delicious!" he said.
The king was outraged. "How dare you grab a peach without permission! To the dungeons! Off with his head!"
Tenalirama then shook the peach angrily. "It's a trap!" he shouted. "The peach doesn't grant long life; it has killed me!"
The king laughed, and then he shared the peaches.
Inspired by: Fix Your Problems the Tenali Raman Way by Vishal Goyal
Notes: This story is on p. 64 of the book.
170. Tenalirama and the Twenty Lashes
King Krishnadevaraya was furious at Tenalirama. "Stay away! If I see you again, you'll get twenty lashes."
Tenalirama returned the next day.
"You're not allowed in!" said the outer guard.
"But the king promised me a present," said Tenalirama. "I'll give you half!"
Tenalirama then made the same deal with the inner guard.
When Tenalirama entered the court, the king yelled, "I warned you: twenty lashes!"
"Wait," said Tenalirama, and he summoned the guards.
"Ten lashes for him," said the jester, "and ten for him."
The king had to laugh at Tenalirama's ingenuity, and he even spared the greedy guards.
Inspired by: The Wit of Tenali Raman by Devika Rangachari
Notes: This story is on p. 25 of the book. In the traditional story, the king does whip the guards! The same story is told about Birbal in his king's court.
171. Tenalirama and the Washerman
Enraged by Tenalirama's pranks, King Krishnadevaraya shouted, "Bury him up to his neck! Let an elephant trample his head!"
So the guards buried Tenalirama and went to fetch an elephant.
A washerman walked by, carrying a heavy laundry-basket. "Oh, my arthritis!" the washerman groaned.
"This cure works!' shouted Tenalirama. "I buried myself, and my arthritis is cured. Try it! I'll bury you, and I'll deliver the laundry!"
The washerman agreed.
Tenalirama buried him and ran off.
Then the washerman saw the elephant coming.
"HELP!" he yelled.
The guards stopped the elephant just in time.
Tenalirama had outwitted everyone once again.
Inspired by: The Wit of Tenali Raman by Devika Rangachari
Notes: This story is on p. 18 of the book. In the original story, the washerman has a hunched back; I changed it to be about arthritis. The "take-my-place" motif is a famous one in world folklore.
172. Tenalirama and the Executioner
Tenalirama's latest prank infuriated King Krishnadevaraya.
"Take him away!" he said to the executioner. "Cut off his head with one slice of your sword!"
The executioner grabbed Tenalirama.
"Let me pray in the holy river first," the jester begged.
They waded into the river. Tenalirama prayed quietly and then yelled, "CUT!" The executioner swung his sword, but Tenalirama had plunged into the water. The sword whooshed through the air.
The executioner chased Tenalirama onto the bank and prepared to swing again.
"Stop!" Tenalirama yelled. "The king said 'one slice of your sword' — one only!"
So Tenalirama escaped punishment again.
Inspired by: The Wit of Tenali Raman by Devika Rangachari
Notes: This story is on p. 35 of the book. For more stories of Tenalirama escaping punishment, see Tenalirama and the Washerman and Tenalirama and the Twenty Lashes.
173. Tenalirama and his Brother-in-Law
Tenalirama's greedy brother-in-law raided the royal orchard, so King Krishnadevaraya ordered him to be executed.
Tenalirama's sister begged Tenalirama to help them, and he agreed to intercede with the king.
As soon as the king saw Tenalirama he shouted, "I know why you're here: it's to save that wretched brother-in-law of yours! Well, I absolutely refuse to do whatever you ask on his behalf. I won't do it!"
Tenalirama smiled. "I was coming here to ask you to execute him, rascal that he is. But I understand: you will not execute him."
The king laughed.
Tenalirama had done it again!
Inspired by: The Wit of Tenali Raman by Devika Rangachari
Notes: This story is on p. 31 of the book.
174. Tenalirama and the Queen
King Krishnadevaraya recited his poem for the queen, and she yawned.
"I'll never forgive you!" the king shouted.
The queen asked Tenalirama for help.
The next day, the king and his court discussed the drought afflicting the kingdom.
"I have a solution!" shouted Tenalirama, holding up a sack of seeds. "This wheat grows without any rain at all."
"Wonderful!" shouted the king happily.
"The only condition," Tenalirama said, "is that whoever plants the seed must have never yawned in his life. Not once. Ever."
The king was bewildered, but then he understood. "I will forgive the queen," he said, smiling.
Inspired by: The Wit of Tenali Raman by Devika Rangachari
Notes: This story is on p. 39 of the book. Compare the Buddhist parable about the grieving Kisagotami; the Buddha told her to look for a household where no one had died. You can find out more about that story at Wikipedia.
175. Tenalirama's Finger
King Krishnadevaraya was extremely fastidious.
"I see dirt under that fingernail," he shouted at Tenalirama. "Cut that finger off!"
"I'll clean it carefully," replied Tenalirama.
"No! Cut it off!"
Tenalirama disappeared for a few days. He made a pit filled with mud and covered with turf ... exactly where the king liked to walk.
When the king fell into the mud up to his neck, Tenalirama appeared with a sword. "I'll cut right at the neck!" he shouted.
The king understood and laughed.
"Just get me out of here!" he said. "And you can forget what I said about the finger."
Inspired by: The Wit of Tenali Raman by Devika Rangachari
Notes: This story is on p. 43 of the book. The original story is about some dirt that Tenalirama steps in, dirtying his toe. The story also goes into detail about just how Tenalirama uses roses to lure the king into the pitfall.
176. Tenalirama's Face
Tenalirama had done it again: King Krishnadevaraya was furious at his latest prank.
"Get out of here!" the king shouted at him. "And never show your face in court again!"
The next day, the king was shocked when the herald announced Tenalirama was coming. When the jester entered, the king saw he had a huge iron soup pot on his head.
"Greetings, Your Highness!" Tenalirama shouted, his words echoing weirdly inside the pot.
"But I told you..."
"You told me never to show my face in court again," said Tenalirama.
The king laughed and forgave Tenalirama, as he always did.
Inspired by: The Wit of Tenali Raman by Devika Rangachari
Notes: This story is on p. 74 of the book. The punishment is for a complicated prank in which Tenalirama tricks the father of the king's new bride into throwing a shoe at the king in order to satisfy a bet.
177. Tenalirama and the Chessboard
Tenalirama's latest poem delighted King Krishnadevaraya.
"Name your reward!" the king proclaimed.
Tenalirama pointed to the king's chessboard. "Just put one sesame seed here," he said, "and then two seeds on this square; four seeds here; then eight, and so on. That will satisfy me!'
The king laughed. "That's too small a reward for such a great poem!"
"Not at all!" Tenalirama replied, smiling.
The king quickly discovered that Tenalirama was correct: it would bankrupt the whole treasury to cover the chessboard with sesame seeds that way. The whole world did not contain enough sesame!
Again, Tenalirama had delighted the king.
Inspired by: Fix Your Problems the Tenali Raman Way by Vishal Goyal
Notes: This story is on p. 23 of the book; it is told about rice, but I changed it to sesame seeds. This story is also told about Akbar's minister Birbal. You can find out more about "the chess number" at Wikipedia in the article about Powers of Two and also in the article about the Wheat and Chessboard Problem. Carl Sagan tells the story of "The Persian Chessboard" in Billions & Billions: Thoughts on Life and Death at the Brink of the Millennium. You can also see a version of the story as told by the 9th-century historian al-Yaqubi in Murray's A History of Chess.
178. Tenalirama and the Painter
"This is the best portrait I've ever seen!" King Krishnadevaraya said to the royal painter. "I must reward you. I'll make you prime minister."
The result was a complete disaster. The royal painter knew nothing of statecraft.
"Help me, Tenalirama!" he said.
Tenalirama organized a feast. The king started to eat, but spat the food out. "This is disgusting!" he shouted. "Summon the cook!"
The cook came in.
"But you're the royal carpenter!" said the king.
Tenalirama laughed. "And making a carpenter cook is about as bad as making a painter prime minister!"
The king laughed.
Tenalirama was right, again.
Inspired by: The Wit of Tenali Raman by Devika Rangachari
Notes: This story is on p. 89 of the book.
179. Tenalirama and the Chinese Vases
The Chinese ambassador sent King Krishnadevaraya four beautiful vases.
"Death to anyone who breaks a vase!' proclaimed the king.
A servant accidentally broke a vase and was sentenced to death.
Tenalirama visited him in prison.
At the execution, the servant begged, "Please, Your Highness, let me see the three remaining vases."
The king agreed.
When he saw the vases, the servant burst free and smashed them all.
"They would get broken eventually," he said. "I didn't want anyone else to have to die for it."
The king understood: people matter more than vases.
"Free the prisoner!" he said.
Tenalirama smiled.
Inspired by: Tenali Raman: Tales of Wit and Wisdom by Kavitha Mandana
Notes: This story is on p. 9 of the book.
180. Tenalirama and the King's Bad Luck
King Krishnadevaraya had a servant nicknamed "Bad-Luck."
The first person who saw Bad-Luck's face first each day had bad luck all day long.
One early morning the king visited the kitchen; there he saw Bad-Luck, and then he had a terrible day: bad news, bad headache, everything bad.
"I'm going to execute that servant!" the king shouted.
As Tenalirama led Bad-Luck to the gallows, he said, "O King, consider this: you saw Bad-Luck's face first today, and he saw yours first. Now he's facing death. Whose face is more unlucky?"
The king laughed. "Release the prisoner!"
Tenalirama had triumphed again.
Inspired by: Tenali Raman: Tales of Wit and Wisdom by Kavitha Mandana
Notes: This story is on p. 123 of the book.
183. Tenalirama and the Ramayana Murals
The royal painter decorated the palace walls with Ramayana murals. Tenalirama scoffed. "Where's the rest of Lakshmana?" he asked, pointing to one figure.
"That's a profile!" replied the painter. "You have to imagine the rest."
"I will decorate the summer palace with my own Ramayana paintings!" boasted Tenalirama.
A month later, he was done. The king came to see ... and there were only noses. Everywhere! Noses painted all over the walls!
"What is this?" he shouted angrily.
"Well, this is Rama, of course. And Sita, Lakshmana..." Tenalirama pointed out each nose one by one. "You have to imagine the rest."
Inspired by: The Wit of Tenali Raman by Devika Rangachari
Notes: This story is on p. 34 of the book. The Mahabharata and the Ramayana are the two great epics of ancient India. In the original story he painted noses and legs and arms and various body parts; I changed it to just noses in honor of his encounter with Kali: Tenalirama and Kali.
182. Tenalirama's Ramayana
A courtesan invited Tenalirama to recite the Ramayana, the epic story of Rama's adventures, just for her.
Tenalirama began with the story of King Dasharatha and Rama's birth, followed by the intrigue in King Dasharatha's court, then Rama's exile into the forest, accompanied by his devoted wife Sita and his loyal brother Lakshmana.
"So," he said, "Rama, accompanied by Sita and Lakshmana, went into the forest to begin their exile."
Then Tenalirama fell silent.
The courtesan waited, and finally she could wait no longer. "Then what happened?" she demanded.
"Be patient," said Tenalirama. "They are still walking through the forest."
Inspired by: Folktales from India, edited by A. K. Ramanujan
Notes: This is "Tenali Rama's Ramayana" (p. 57). You can find out more about the Ramayana at Wikipedia.
181. Tenalirama and the Magician
A magician arrived, boasting of powers greater than any member of King Krishnadevaraya's court.
"You must defeat him, Tenalirama!" begged the king.
Tenalirama confronted the magician. "You cannot do with your eyes open what I can do with my eyes shut!" the jester proclaimed.
"Of course I can!" countered the magician.
Tenalirama took a sack of chili-powder, shut his eyes, and put chili-powder on both eyelids. He then counted to one hundred, smiling.
Next, Tenalirama washed the powder off carefully and handed the sack to the magician.
The magician ran away without so much as a word.
Tenalirama had won!
Inspired by: The Wit of Tenali Raman by Devika Rangachari
Notes: This story is on p. 51 of the book.
184. Tenalirama and the Money-Bag
Tenalirama was traveling home after a long journey.
It began to rain, so he sought refuge at an inn, hoping to dry himself by the fire. Unfortunately, there were others there already, and he couldn't even get close to the fire.
"Alas!" he shouted. "I've lost the royal money-bag! I must have dropped it when my horse slipped in the mud about a mile down the road. The king will be very angry!"
Everyone in the inn rushed out the door, hoping to find the lost money-bag.
Which did not exist, of course.
Meanwhile, Tenalirama dried himself by the fire.
Inspired by: Fix Your Problems the Tenali Raman Way by Vishal Goyal
Notes: This story is on p. 101 of the book.
185. Tenalirama and the Thief
Tenalirama was on a journey, and a sadhu he met along the way asked to travel with him.
Tenalirama agreed, although he knew the man was not a saint; he was a thief who wanted to steal Tenalirama's money.
Every night, the thief would rummage through Tenalirama's bags and clothing, looking for the money, but he could never find where Tenalirama had hidden it.
When they reached their destination, he said, "I confess: I'm a thief, and you baffled me. Where did you hide your money?"
"I put it under your pillow," replied Tenalirama. "I knew you'd never look there."
Inspired by: Fix Your Problems the Tenali Raman Way by Vishal Goyal
Notes: This story is on p. 42 of the book.
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